She went over the essential luggage in her mind – again, passport, debit card, student card – and admitted the last few months hadn’t been easy for anyone. All those around her seemed to have been touched by the magic wand of tragedy. Can you imagine! She thought most of the adventures would take place on her journey, but she learned that sometimes everything happens just before you leave. Her preparations had turned into a whirligig of meetings and mix-ups, and her monotonous, stable life furnished with family, friends and studies had suddenly decided to leap into a 55-litre backpack. She had felt the betrayals constantly bumping into her euphoria but, against all expectations and contrary to what the undoubted plot had set out to achieve, she hadn’t gone back on her obsession.
As was to be expected, her mother had reacted indifferently to begin with, then with amazement and finally with something that, if it wasn’t resentment, was remarkably similar:
‘I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I can’t believe it, Leo. Not you. What are you going to find out there, tell me, what are you going to find?’
Just in case her words hadn’t sounded convincing, when they left for the airport, her mother announced her father and brother would be coming along to say goodbye. So the last thing she saw on the other side of the security area was her mother’s impassive face, Roi’s wheelchair and her father’s crutches. However hard she tried, Leo could think of few things crueller than bringing along the whole family to remind her of her supposed, constant selfishness. Her mother had always possessed the uncanny ability to poke around inside wounds.
‘Call whenever you can. And if you ever wish you hadn’t left, catch the first flight home. The first flight, understand?’
Leo saw through the blackmail and didn’t hesitate. She said to herself, ‘Come on, Leo, don’t give up now,’ and forced a smile. She’d borne the brunt of so many reproaches over the last few months that, if she hadn’t already repented, she wasn’t going to do so now. Not now. As the civil guard passed the cold metal detector over her body, Leo looked back at the airport lounge where her father, mother and Roi were slowly waving goodbye.
Roi winked and pretended to type in the air.
‘Yes, I know. I promise a tweet from every airport and bus or railway station. And if I don’t have time or can’t, at least a message from every city I visit. I promise, Roi.’
Of course, thought Leo, I’ll log into my email account and use Skype, but she swore she wouldn’t update her blog for all the gold in the world. Nor her profile on Facebook. If somebody wanted to follow her footsteps around the world, then they should go with her and not stay sitting at home. Her resentment at the way her friends had suddenly pulled out formed a lump in her throat. She would just hang a remnant on the clothes line of Twitter from every point on the globe she set foot on, she said to herself again. A kind of smoke signal. I’m alive. I’m fine. That’s all.
If she hadn’t counted on those presences at the airport, she certainly hadn’t expected the absences. She couldn’t believe they hadn’t turned up. She couldn’t believe they couldn’t even do this for her. Neither Inés nor Aldara, not even Martiño, had turned up to say goodbye. How could they be such cowards? Such stupidly selfish cowards. Not even this, however, the thorn of her best friends’ betrayal, caused her to change her mind. The scanner showed her the amusing image of her most treasured belongings and the civil guard’s gesture indicated she was free to carry on. She should carry on.
She looked back for the last time. She smiled and blew an enthusiastic kiss. Her father, mother and Roi essayed a similar pretence of happiness and continued waving goodbye in a farewell that threatened to last for ever. Leo looked back and saw nobody else to embrace in the distance. She marched up the escalator leading to the departure lounge.
As soon as they were out of sight, both parties tried to cover up their tears as best they could.
The escalator sucked up any final trace of remorse.
